Dealing with frustration and helplessness

Submitted by Peter on

Dealing with frustration and helplessness can seem like a never ending struggle and no amount of motivational speeches will help you get out of real emotions.

Quote Diane Arbus

Life never stops, there is always new things to see and learn about, when we feel good it's easy to navigate in life but when we feel bad our ideas from our particular viewpoint can come to a halt. Suddenly we don't know where to turn and all the roads leads back to where we begin.

Our consciousness reacts to problems by trying to solve them by thinking. This doesn't necessarily mean it's a good way. More thoughts can simply mean that you start to walk in circles. Going over the bad things over and over again. And there is no need to make bad behavior into a habit.

Challenge the bad thoughts

Coach your mind viewing it as a obstructive child. Sudden feelings of sorrow and gloom needs to be gently pushed aside. Always make a mental note to deal with these emotions later, and remember to do it! If you cant always trust yourself, then your thoughts will become weak because your actions are. When you feel frustration and helplessness you should questions these thoughts. Believe in your emotions. Follow your heart and go to a place where your thoughts start to feel clearer.

Start to ask yourself in a gentle and compassionate way:

Who is the one thinking these thoughts?

Where does these thoughts arise?

Where is the mind where the thought seems to come from, is it the grey matter in between your ears?

When new thoughts starts to come to the surface of your mind. Gently ask them: Who are you? Where do you come from? Let them be seen.

When these thoughts are held in compassion, lifted up into the light and viewed calmly then they start to disappear. These thoughts are not the true inner you. Like all thoughts they are illusions made up of other things we have been thinking and somewhere along the way they became a blockage.

Once you start to realize that thoughts are thought and no more real then whatever else you might think about during the day, you need to start let them go gracefully. Let them leave you like a cloud or in some other mental imagery you feel comfortable with and simply see them drifting away. If they come back, then see them again and do so out of compassion and keep doing this as many times as it is necessary and always finish by letting them go, over and over again. Don't stop and dwell to much in the past. Remember not to fight with your thoughts, instead practice compassion. If you fight you'll never win, since you're fighting with your self..

Once you make progress. Use the time to rest and then when it's better you can make plans for something new.

A few words about accepting forgiveness and moving on

Without the ability to forgive ourselfs and others we loose almost all possibility of ever making real changes in our life's.

In order to change, it isn't necessary for others to behave differently towards us. But we need to start thinking in another way and correct the destructive thought-patterns which cripples us or we will always end up making the same mistakes as you've regretted doing in the past.

We can't really expect to stop ourselves from repeating a destructive behavior without somehow realizing why we started doing the bad behavior in the first place. But there needs to be forgiveness as well as compassion.

Remember that forgiveness doesn't automatically mean that we condone what has happened, instead it means to acknowledge truthfully so that we are able to let go and move on. See what really is without reliving it and do so out of a compassionate viewpoint. Don't struggle or fight with the memory anymore.

(This article was first published in 2011, but have been completely rewritten in 2013.)

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